I had the idea in my head to delete this journal, I rarely use it. Not many people still read it. But then I went back to read old posts and decided that I didn't want to erase EVERYTHING for the passed... five years? So I went through all the hundreds and hundreds of entries and deleted all the "we did this and that and this and it was sooooo much fun" and the "i hate my life because my mom sucks" etc etc, I did however keep the important stuff, like graduation and plays and random boys and those entries where people comment and fill shit out and make you feel warm and fuzzy, my car accident, and tattoo and prom. But now that all that other stuff is gone I'm pretty much done here.

get me here

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIA!!

I love you and I miss you and I hope you start to feel better soon!!

1. If I say "I love you," I really mean it.
2. I just got a tattoo and I don't care if you think it's "uglee."
3. I also don't care if you think I'm "uglee."
4. I'm afraid to lose people.
5. I love pasta salad.
6. My middle name is Maria.
7. I'm MMM.
8. I like musicals and theatre.
9. I have little faith in my abilities sometimes.
10. Sometimes I know I can kick ass at whatever I'm doing and soon you will too.
11. I like to party.
12. Recently I realized however, that partying is not everything.
13. I like sober-Marin better than drunk-Marin.
14. My favorite colors are pink and green.
15. Billy Joel is the man. period.
16. I'm really hungry, right now.
17. The three most important people in my life right now, are very very far away.
18. I don't know if I believe in "best friends" anymore.
19. My parents have been divorced since I was a baby.
20. My sister's my only full sibling, my brothers are only half.
21. I hate the fact that I don't hate "the ex," I deserve better than him but I keep telling myself he's it.
22. I really miss Pennsylvania.
23. I'm afraid being home isn't going to be all it's cracked up to be once I get there.
24. I'm ready to go visit Tina in SC right now.
25. I'm a virgin and I'm not afraid to say it.
26. Just because I'm a virgin doesn't make me a prude.
27. I'm a democrat.
28. I'm lonely.
29. My little brother is one of my best friends.
30. I'm listening to Ase of Base.
31. I'm a coward.
32. I really enjoy girl's night in.
33. I am a really light sleeper.
34. I have my heart broken several times, only one was a boyfriend.
35. Recently I've been without a vice, and I'm proud of myself.
36. The TA for one of my classes is my favorite person I've met at college so far.
37. Well, except for Chuck who I'd definitely be crushing on if he'd come to class more.
38. I hate college.
39. I hated high school more though.
40. I've grown up emensely in the past two years.
41. I have a love/hate relationship with my job.
42. Part of me can't stand either of my parents.
43. I'm really creative, on my own time, not yours.
44. If you gave me a million dollars I'd be selfish with it at first.
45. I'm worn out.
46. I want to fall in love.
47. I don't believe in forever.
48. I'm 19.
49. I love roller coasters and swing sets.
50. I hate science except Physics.
51. My tattoo is starting to get itchy.
52. I saw the sign. ha.
53. I don't know if I every really "fit in," anywhere.
54. I know now that that never really mattered.
55. I'm not rich and I'm not really poor.
56. Most of what I have (i.e. my car?) I've paid for, I've worked for, I've earned.
57. I'm clumsy.
58. My first french kiss was one of my sisters friend and I was 4 or 5.
59. I'm paranoid.
60. I call Winter Haven home right now.
61. Cato owns my soul, well until January.
62. I give people too much credit.
63. I dont have a religion but I'm starting to form my own ideas.
64. I'm a pacifist.
65. I hate peas.
66. Everytime I drive my moms car I laugh a little, because I was almost naked in it.
67. I still listen to 90's pop sometimes.
68. If I could be six again I would.
69. I have polysistic ovary syndrome, which means I gain weight too easily and probably won't be able to have kids.
70. The only thing I've wanted to be all my life was a mom.
71. I understand there are other options but I'd love to have my own kids.
72. I don't give money to homeless people.
73. Sometimes I smoke cigarettes when I'm sober.
74. I love coffee.
75. The times when I think I'm pretty, no one else is there to see it.
76. I love love love rap.
77. I sleep with a stuffed animal.
78. Music is one of my favorite things in life.
79. I'll always be a warrior on the inside.
80. The Kooks are my current obsession.
81. I don't like to eat/cook when other people are in the kitchen.
82. I refuse to lose it to someone I don't care about.
83. I have a crush on Justin Timberlake.
84. Oldies are good too, so are covers.
85. I used to have nightmares about drowning.
86. Collar bones are sexy.
87. I'm really emotional.
88. I cry too much.
89. I have big boobs.
90. I wish I were taller.
91. I'm mostly Italian.
92. I've sprained my left ankle three times
93. I'm too nice for my own good sometimes.
94. I remember names and faces and birthdays and phone numbers.
95. I have work in 2 hours and I really don't want to go.
96. I didn't take a shower yesterday.
97. but I'm going to take one right after this.
98. I love you too much and you keep hurting me.
99. I wish we could have been like we are now before you left.
100. I'm gald we talk a lot again, I've missed you
101. Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm going to live like it.

a) A&E determined my car totalled. Hooray, not. I officially killed Paul. BUT I bought a new car "Albert" as in Einstein, it's a 2003 Kia Spectra, I'll put pictures up as soon as i remember to take them....

b)... I got a ( tattoo ). I like it :)

This is all. Goodnight.

-I HAVE 13 DAYS LEFT OF HIGHSCOOL.
-BILLY JOEL IS MORE AMAZING THAN YOU'LL PROBABLY EVER BE.
-I GOT ANOTHER PROMOTION (and another raise)
-I'M OFFICIALLY DOME WITH MY COLLEGE CLASS (minus my final)
-MY SISTER (and brother) WILL BE HERE IS LESS THAN A MONTH!
-JUNE 7TH, I'M GOING TO PENNSYLVANIA!


She's frequently kind and then suddenly cruel, she can do as she please she's nobody's fool...
^I think that describes me well. I always have, but recently, I see that I like it that way. Boyfriends are wonderful, but right now, I'm really glad I'm "nobody's fool."

Amanda Ellis, Ashley Cope, and Liz Kersey make living life a little better.

NePA was fantastic, I love my family and friends so much.
It's having 5 fridges in one house...
It's driving through the mountains full of leaf less, or almost leafless trees
It's spending $25 on chocolate becasue it's worth it
It's "real pizza"
It's knowing where you are even when you don't
It's the park you grew up going to
It's the same sundae you always got
It's "the basement" and al lthe memories it holds
It's the things you pretend to not know
It's the faces of the familiar
It's the genuine "hey! How are you?"
It's the good and the bad, the memories that hit you in the face the second you get out of the door, it's the air that makes you feel alive, it's the feeling you don't get until you've gone away, it's the house and the people you see in your dreams, the places you'll never forget, it's that time thatyou feel off the "big slide" or the time Uncle nick spun the merry go round so fast that kid threw up, it's how no matter how far you go or how long you're gone, it's home and part of you never wants to leave....

I'm alive, aren't you glad to hear it?

I went on a date last night. It was amazing. I had bundles of fun. Hopefully they'll be more like it soon.


horray for kisses.

you look marevelous darling.
( +15 )

I am a licensed driver.

1st day back was GAYYYYYYYY

first period is team sports,joy! yet another P.E. class! Yay! Not.
second... AP English, should be an okay class, I guess. I need to read more.
third...Amer Hist Hon with Futch, she's fun. The class should be okay. Dumb people suck.
fourth.. Drama 4. There are some okay people and some not so okay people. I'm gonig to try and make the best of it.

I think I realized today how much I dislike the junior class. That could be why almost none of my friends are juniors. Yeah.

My "mother in law" came to visit today...joy.


in other more exciting news...I GOT THE JOB AT CATO! That has been the highlight of my day. Yes.

Edit: Feb 7th Marin is getting her drivers license

( so this is the new year.... )

I'm home. Happy New Year.

Dear Marin,

You make me ________. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You = ________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I would build a _______ just for you. I would get your name tattooed on my __________. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could drink __________ under the stars. My love for you is like that of ____________.

Love,
_______________

(P.S. ______________.)

If you read this, even if we don't speak often, you must post a comment on my page with a memory of you and I. It can be anything you want -- good or bad, just as long as it happened.

Then post this up yourself and see what people remember about you...

1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll pick a flavor/color of jello to wrestle with you in.
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8) If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.

Last night was amazing!
-major girl time getting ready
-food=good
-got there, danced, took pictures, danced, they didn't play baby got back!, ♥ boy stuff ♥, danced some more,
-IHOP! was fun/amazing
and man I love my friends! (Except Josh, Brian Dane.... etc. I really wouldn't have cared if all my stuff wasn't all over, like all the stuff on my desk, including my bible, being sprawled out all over the floor. arg.....!)
-Darra and Amanda are sleeping in my bed!

leave a comment with your name.
& I will write what I think about you
7-8 sentences minimum.
and none of the "hi. oh my gosh. I love you.
your amazing. we need to hang out.
I love your style. love you bye."
full, long sentences.
ones that actually mean something.

( summer survey... )

I'm dumb.

Thank for tonight, Colleen, Kendall and Kaley. I Boob You.
You guys mean the world to me, and I don't know what I would do with out you...

::drum roll:: what you've all been waiting for... a recap of last night!!!!
So Darra shows up around 6:45ish, and then Ashlyn, then Kendall and Amanda(r), and the five of us were chillin like villians and we made popcorn, Sara showed up and watched Rocky Horror Picture Show. My little brothwer sent us on scavenger hunts! THen the movie was over and Sara had to leaf. Then Corey and Colleen shouwed up, not together. Then we decided to go for a walk, got half way down the street and decided to go for a drive instead. So we went to Rotary Park, and then to the one on the other side of Lake Silver, then we went to Corey's work, to a cemetary, to Kaley's, for a drive around Corey's neighborhood, then back to my hizzouse. We played truth or dare sorta, and just kind hung out, then Corenelious left and we decided to watch 10 Things I Hate About You, which Darra and I recited just about everyword to. Then we were going to go to bed, but K and Am and C and I decided to watch Breakfast Club instead, thenwe all fell asleep. There was lots of butt grabbing and kisses and boob grabbing and "sex" and I'm just glad prophylactis, were involved becasue if they weren't I'd be a whore and have more illegitamite children. ;-)

-So we're in the kitchen, Kendall, Amandar and I and Amandars got a pop tart and she holding it in her hand and smack. kendal just slaps it and knocks it to the ground.
-I love Booty dancing with Kendall then Colleen, then Darra, then Kendall again in the front seat of Corey's car to "Ass and Titties"
-Kendall loves to eat my pickle.

I don't remember anything else, but it was crazy mad fun and we need to do it again. Soon. It looks like a tornado hit my bed, there are so many blankets/pillows on it, I think that i might just sleepwith it all like that, be ready for next time ;-)
Pictures soon, maybe.

You know whats crazy, when you stay up until 1:30AM, talking to someone who used to be your absolute best friend for over two and a half hours. And after you talk, you realize that it was just what both of you needed and that no matter how far away or how long you haven't talked that you two share some crazy bond, that still allows you to finish each other sentences, or know what that other persons thinking before he/she says it. You realize that even though its not as much as before, this person they still need you, and you still need them, if only to talk about all those things you used that no one else is around to hear.

Thank you for talking to me for two and a half hours, and now even though I'm dead tired, I feel like my mind is clearing, because thats what best friends are for right?

I would just like to say that I love ColleenMomErinAshlynJessicaSaraJennaTimJessieDarraBrynnaAmandaKendallKaleyCoreyBenTerriJackCatie-BethDaveJuliaHannahBaileyDavidReaganStacyLorrianEmilyLisaSpencerBrittanyJoshRachaelAmberDianaWadeandanyonelsewhowastherethatIdidn'tmention
♥

( "Super-Duper Birthday Bash" -Thanks Amanda- )

Wow it was fun, if you wree invited and didn't come, shame on you! It was pretty much a flippin' sweet party.

7teen!
( my birthday! ) was really really really fun! Sooooooooooooo much better than last year. I Love Sarah!

Friday night I went out with Sara and Jenna. We went to Comedy Buffet and I got in for free. Then we went to Wal-mart where we tried on a ridiculous amount of skirts. I t was a fun night, I ♥ you guys! By the way, I went ot Super Wal-mart yesterday and looked for the green skirt and they didn't have it, I was thoroughly upset.

So I'm feeling kinda gblsmtg;iajetoijocfbjzfg about somethings... kinda becasue
I’m sorry for the person I became
I’m sorry that it took so long for me to change
I’m ready to be sure I never become that way again
'Cause who I am hates who I’ve been
Who I am hates who I’ve been

I Love Julianne Dauber. This is all.

Are you at all ( curious? )


CAUTION: This may make you vomit. ;-)

So, I'm a cripple. I had an accident with a glass while doing the dishes. Let's just the glass went into my hand a lot, there was a trail of blood from the kitchen to the bathroom, I had to get five stiches, and my thumb is a giant white blob. I'm in some pain, and I didn't get out of doing work in school, but I get to not do the dishes for quite some time! Yay. :-/

School's been okay, I'm pretty sure I didn't fail my physics test horribly, and pre-cal's been easy so far, health is dumb and drama's usually a good time, I've really got no complaints.

Small group tonight. I only memorized one of the verses. Oh well. I wonder how i'm going to et without my right hand.

This experience is making me greatly appreciate opposible thumbs. Last night I undressed, bathed, and redressed using just my left hand. I was proud, but it was hard. Brushing teeth, opening lockers, carrying books, etc etc just became difficult to do. Oh well.

I wish you knew that I cared, and that last night I had tears in my eyes becasue I know you're hurting and that it was expensive and I know we don't have it. I just wish there were something I could do.

School starts tomorrow, there are definitely people I'm not looking forward to seeing. Ben's in my 3rd period class and just about everyone is in my fourth period, we'll see how it goes and I'll update...

I love "the aurburndale group," I'm gonna miss seeing them every week. Terri and Jack are amazing people.

Me & you & the moon, yeah, thats about how I feel right now, like I should forget it entirely, you seemed to have. Thanks for caring, you're a jerk.

I'm not exactly in the best of moods. And I definitely was 20 minutes ago. You suck, this sucks, I'm mad. My bible is calling my name. I need to talk to Julie or Valerie, and I need sleep.

leave an anonymous comment with:
[1] one secret.
[2] one compliment.
[3] one non-compliment.
[4] one love note.
[5] lyrics to a song.
[6] how old you are.
[7] how long we've been friends.
[8] a hint to who you are.
[9] what you think about me.

They're gone. It doesn't hurt yet, I'm still numb, and a little out of it because of the anestisia. This gauze is getting annoyingly gross. I'm like gagging on it, I feel like I'm going to throw up. I'm so hungry.

( Camp? )
( not camp. )
( Argh. )

Err. Monday ..Grease? Tuesday..worship @ the church. Wednesday...wisdom teeth are coming out...:-/

"You really do give great advice. You have infinite wisdom. I swear. :-) <333" -man I love that girl.

I'm still not really ready to tell you all about camp. I just don't have the energy to write it all. Just know this, for now, it was an amazing time but it's really nice to be home, to sleep in my own bed, use my own bathroom, and be able to drink from the milk carton (cause Im the only one who drinks milk here)!

Tonight? Plan are yet to be determined...but I shall do...something.

OK. So you have to randomly list 20 of your friends. Then go through your iTunes (or whatever program you choose to use) and find one song that you think goes with each friend. Then explain why! Come on, this is fun. Right? Here we go!

( .. )
"OK! NOW GO FORTH AND DO THIS! IT'S FUN! And look .. it makes like THE BEST mix. heh. ciao. ;)"

I'm feeling..better.

::gasp:: It's 6:30, guess where I just got home from...the emergency room, that's right. I woke up at around 3:30 in tears becasue my thraot just kept swelling more and more so I took a vicodin and ate some sherbert and attempted to go back to sleep. At 4 my mom woke me up to find out my symptoms because she was on the phone with some medical hotline thing provided by our insurance or something, because she woke up and Stuart told her I had woken up. They told her to take me to the ER. So we sat there, watching bad TV for almost two hours, saw 4 different people, ugh. Final result, a giant shot of penicilin in my behind, a diagnosis of tonsilitis, and yet another medication to take, tylenol with codine...ugh.

Right now, I'm going to finish my peaches, try to avoid Stuart's I'm-a-drunken-jerkface-ness, then attempt sleep, again.

Okay, this could be long and annoying so..lj-cuts! And there will probably be erros in grammar/speech/typing/spelling becasue i'm tried and can't funtion right now...

( events of this weekend. )

( fkgjeirjvidj )

( wisdom teeth.. )

( this one won't be long... )

I'll have another entry for the ladies tomorrow, right now I need sleep...

Ahhhh, humph.

Alright, so the show is over! And I guess thats a good thing and a bad thing. I mean I actually get to have a life again, can make plans to do something after 6 because I won't have rehearsal, but I'm gonna miss some of the kids. At least, Billy and Chan are the only seniors and everyone else will be back next summer. The cast party was umm... yeah, not the kind of cast party I'm used to but the food was good and it was nice to just sit and talk with everyone.

So after the cast party I went to S.O.D.I.U.M. at the Earnest's to watch the kids. Well there was 6 of them last night and Stacy, Megan and me watching them. They all cried, at least one. Ugh. Julia might have me watch her four kids sometime this week ($$$) which'll be cool. I ♥ them.

After S.O.D.I.U.M. we all went to dairy queen, I mean, all. We Filled all four tables outside and two inside. Then Rachael came over and we hung out for a little over an hour. We talked about tacos, and Canada, and boys, (btw..PAYBACK SUCKS...)

Solid Rock this Wednesday, and a camp out at the church this weekend. I'm not sure I'll be in attendance, but it'll definitely be a good time should I choose to show up.

I need a tan. I'm so white. I think I'm gonna go walking in my bathing suit and board shorts. That way I don't have funny lines... :-P

Camp is in two weeks. I'm excited, it should be a really good time! I need to talk to Smiths/Jarretts/Thompsons about what I need to have!!!

I need food. Right Now. :-P So I'm out.

♥ Yesterday Sara came by and brought me a milkshake! Which was amazingly awesome, even though it "coated my throat" before the performance. Oh darn. Then while she was hanging out, Corey showed up for some still unknown reason. Anyway, we sat at the kitchen table and talked for a few then the both left and I went to the show. Went out afterward, with just about everybody, to McDonald's. Then to Chan's with Josh and Jesse. Came home around 2ish. Played the Sims 2 and then crashed in my sisters room. (I temporarily moved out of my room so they could fix my windows, and I have yet to move back in...)

I got almost 10 hours of sleep and I'm still really really tired.

I really don't like liking you this much.

Should have done this yesterday...


Hit and Misdemeanor
Lake Wales Little Theatre
June 17, 18, 24 & 25 @ 7:30 PM
June 19 & 26 @ 2:00 PM

I would just like to say a great big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my little brother Logan, who is now a teenager! ::GASP:: The Big 13. Haha.


Oh and also, Happy Hurricane season.

She's gone.

thats a present for all you kids that know Diana Hardman.
The morale of this story is don't give Diana a kitten

I'm being baptized this Sunday, after second service (which starts at 10:45), at the Rock. You should all come, becasue it would mean the world to me. <3 I might have some people over Saturday night that way we can just "car pool" overthere sorta. Call me if you wanna come or if you need to know how to get to The Rock!

You'd better be there..

p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA! (i love you're huge face <3)

because I might not get the chance to say it tomorrow....
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY CIERA!

I ♥ you! I hope you have a great day!

I WAS A CO-CONSPIRATOR IN THE PLANNING AND CAPTURING OF MRS. HARDWICK'S DONKEY! It's done. It was awesome. Amina is sooooooo cool. That class just won't be the same. :'( ::tear::

Last day for seniors....!!! Hey NePA kids...I'm a junior. hahahaha. I love this time of year. 8 days. 7 if you count the two half days as one day.

I got cast in "Hit and Misdemeanor," hehe it's gonna be a good time! :-D I'm excited. (I have to write Rachelley and email)

I'm amazingly energized and excited and I'm not really sure why...!!!!